We are all quite familiar with the phrase #MenAreTrash, women have been complaining about inadequate men while, majority of the male species assume women are rather ganging up on them and being unnecessary by bitterly using #MenAretrash as a ploy to degrade those who did them wrong, than trying to understand why this hashtag has taken over most social platforms in first place.
First of all...
One thing all women on this globe have in common is pain.
Pain caused by inconsistent men and the constant mistreatment, emotional/physical abuse and harassment that women have received throughout their lives. In one way or another, we all share the same cry for help, and now that society has become more accepting and encouraging when it comes to women in power and women actually having something to say, I'm sure figuring out why #MenAreTrash has had such a powerful impact on social platforms is not rocket science.
Now that we are in the era of 'hook up culture' and unofficial relationships trending in a selfish, vain & conceited generation, where small talk has become the new 'deep'. I do think a little more care & a helping hand would be appreciated when it comes to a companion, friend, sister, mother and daughter, who probably is grieving the death of who she used to be before having to fall in love with trouble.
"#MenAreTrash", The phrase alone sounds like an attack without an explanation as to why it surfaced in the first place. With regards to long term relationships in this day and age where two people really want to be together but find themselves incompatible, in my opinion it takes 2 to tango miss..., and the key to establishing a relationship where neither a man or woman is trash towards each other is.... drum roll please..... lol
C O N S I S T E N C Y
What does a consistent partner look like?
You know that exercise they make couples do, where one partner falls back and trusts that the other partner will catch them. That, my friends, is consistency.
"It is not about being around, or available all the time. Certainly, it is not about having a crystal vase that screams out loud, "things are the same." It's more about creating a sense that, amid confusion, contradictory feelings, experimentation, conflicting needs and desires, one is there for the other person and their actions show it. Behaviourally, consistency means checking in on each other on a regular basis, being there when you are needed, and having a sense of commitment to the process of a relationship, getting to know each other, and being with each other. Integral to consistency, is honesty because without being upfront about one's own life, it is difficult to foster a sense of trust with others. And if it does happen, it is superficial and somewhat inauthentic. Most of us get into a relationship with an agenda, we have certain expectations yet we fail to communicate what it is that we actually need from our partner. Ironically, this goal-driven approach to relationships comes with a lack of simply enjoying each other's presence in one's life."
Don't get it twisted, consistency does not mean control, neither does it mean that you have to be together 24/7, that leaves no room for the other person to explore their own life journey, because we are afraid that exploring your own life journey could lead to cheating and so forth. The moment something goes off-track, and no longer fits in with our personal vision of the relationship, we start losing interest in it. But, at the end of the day, what is it that we really want from a partner?
Reassurance, to say that, "No matter what, I'm here." If we shift our focus from the number of things we expect in a relationship, to the person we choose to be with, we can be present with them, and for them, and together let the relationship grow organically into what it is meant to be. This then gives us room to be our own individual self with our partners which then makes it a lot easier to be consistent in the emotional, mental & physical realm of a relationship.
"I am mine before I am anyone else's" but I will always be loyal to the commitment & decisions we made together.
Signs of an inconsistent Man/Woman
Can go days without calling or texting
Never wants to do anything special for you
Constantly makes up excuses for their inconsistency and personal behaviour, resulting in the pathetic "Its not you, its me" excuse.
Questioning yourself a lot if someone likes or cares because you know they can or you care about them they just don’t show it as often or how you would like them to
You do everything to make the inconsistent partner happy or show them you care and they rarely or does nothing for you at all
They are not sure about what they want with you
Emotionally unavailable
Prioritises their own selfish needs when there a bigger issues that needs their attention
Wanting a source for intimacy that doesn’t require much effort
Relationships shouldn’t be the kind of challenge that leads you to a mental breakdown, but a rather healthy challenge in understanding, communicating & growing together while bettering yourself, for yourself. We know growth is sometimes painful, we know things get messy and we don't see eye to eye, we know that false feeling of ruin, most of us fail here by acting on impulse instead of actually taking a step back and working through our issues. "Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.” You shouldn’t have to sit there wondering or analysing things because you don’t know or aren’t sure of their feelings or intentions. Despite the situation, you will just know whats real in your heart. Relationships should run smoothly. No doubt you will have some bumps in the road, but they should be things that you can work through. When someone is consistent then you know what to expect, it provides stability and you know where you stand. It’s simple really. Why would you want anything less?
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