Wading through your 20's while trying to find balance between your alone time, career goals, social life, love life and family matters, almost seems impossible, especially when dealing with all the challenges that each of these sectors come with.
What I've learnt about myself in the process of defining a balance that works well for me, is that you should never let the pressures of these sectors in your life control your attitude in such a way that it affects your progress in building a better you, or demotivate you in losing sight of your personal & relationship goals.
Find your Zen in challenging times and keep it moving baby, remember, with the right attitude, you can achieve the impossible. Just because you're a beginner, doesn't mean you should ever doubt yourself either.
Throughout my trial & error, the urge to act on impulse when it comes to these sensitive sectors, often left me in a position where I've fallen prey to letting a temporary feeling of a temporary moment blow up into something completely unnecessary. Thus resulting in allowing silly things to change my perspective, give me a ton of doubts, damper my willingness to move forward and idle in my doom & gloom while STILL over-thinking & expecting a change but doing absolutely nothing about it.
Not knowing how to find your Zen when faced with challenges distracts you and makes you really lazy, especially when the depression of not moving forward kicks in.
The reality of this is, most 20 somethings fall into this depressive state, they play the blame game & expect their significant other or someone in their inner circle to miraculously fix what they are responsible for working on, INTERNALLY with themselves.
Have you ever wondered why people lose their dignity & self-respect, by continuously chasing scarps as "dreams" that are nowhere near worthy of a second glance?
Rule #1, Don't put yourself in a position of extreme change & commitment when YOU are not whole, you'll end up putting your heart on the line for commitments that you are too incompetent to be loyal to & see through.
No one & no material thing completes you but you... No lover, no family member, no child, no friend, no money... It’s your responsibility to get your spiritual, emotional, mental & physical state on a healthy level before you pursue anyone or any major change that might unintentionally affect those in your circle of trust.
Its simple...
Mind Over Matter Boo.
We are all human and the anxiety gets real sometimes when we're faced with multiple challenges in different sectors of our lives, all at the same time. Lol, well, that's called "adulting" my dear.
Here are some realisations I found on my path in achieving zen whenever the pressure & anxiety of finding balance, sculpting my relationships, working on my goals & character gets real.
I realised that the best yet most powerful part of it all, is that you're a beginner.
A Beginner’s Mind is so precious, it transforms the way we experience things, it creates a sense of excitement for new adventures and no matter how old we are, it keeps us young and eager to learn.
Find positives in being a beginner when tapping into the changes that come with detaching yourself from the "kid-like" state of mind to an adult while figuring out your balance & paving a way of life that works well with you. As a beginner we have no expectations and no fixed view of ourselves therefore we are open and receptive to criticism when bumping our heads and finding better solutions. We don't have to have everything figured out right away, neither do we have to control everything in order to foresee a better outcome, be patient with yourself. As long as you're happy with in, your drive to be better, achieve your goals, finding a lifestyle that's best for you and the perfect balance will all fall into place. Patience!
Ever heard of the saying, ' real wisdom lies in not knowing' ?
If you're at peace with yourself, the challenges of the unknown are nothing but adventurous steps closer to sculpting a better character through experience or editing your game plan through lessons learnt in achieving success with your newfound & improving balance. Not knowing the outcome leaves room for intuition, therefore 10 to 1, we end up reacting more rationally according the circumstance and not irrationally, according to the often negative assumption of how things will turn out to be. State of mind is imperative.
Always Treasure Your Moments
Experience your moments fully by actually engaging and being mindfully present. Most of the time we are stuck in a daydream in which we think of the past and dream of the future. Meanwhile; time, moments & opportunity moves without us being present. We miss so much when we live in a daze, but with a beginner’s mind, it allows us to take it all in & soon you'll see that even the most ordinary things begin to shine. These ordinary things will then radiate & pierce through the "dark", negative connotations within yourself and show you that there is so much more to be happy, thankful and optimistic about than soaking in your misery. This gives us the opportunity to take the necessary steps to achieve a "zen-like" solution in building your bridge and getting over it, without an impulsive response that is solely based on temporary feels but rather an open mind in using your experience to make your situation better.
Bottom line, be patient, breathe, don't just react, experience every moment fully and practise self control. Being a beginner and not knowing where to start, what to do, and how to get there, in finding the right balance with yourself & your relationships is more of an advantage than a weakness and being fully present in all the big and small moments helps us realise that when challenges arise, its not a train smash. Like I said before, state of mind is key, and achieving a healthy state of mind starts with being whole and at peace with yourself. With the right attitude, you can achieve the impossible.
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